Regardless of what has happened to you or what you have done,
for spiritual growth it is important to realize that you are
neither a victim nor a perpetrator.   Playing a victim or a perpetrator
is a trick of the mind/ego/false self, and thus a sure way to get
stuck in emotional dramas – and disconnect from Divine Love.

It is more accurate to say that you are as a participant and as
an observer.   You are as an expression of the Self via the Holy Spirit looking
around and back at Itself from within a virtual machine called
"Existence" (in order to experience Itself).   How your expression (you) is
manifested (nice person; jerk) is shaped by localized spiritual
will (that you mistakenly consider as your own will), attractor fields
(like energies attract like), other energy dances within Existence (and perhaps
other stuff we are not aware of).

As the energy dance within Existence goes on, what you focus on enters your
universe, your domain, your "house" and thus affects you.   It can
be in a "good" way, in a "bad" way, or anything in between.   This
happens on all levels (conscious, subconscious, superconscious, etc)
even multi-dimensionally and multi-directionally.
That is why wise people say things like, "study what you want more of",
"when it comes to evil do not go there", etc.
The way of focusing can be by liking something, hating something,
wanting something, judging something, getting emotionally attached
to something, holding onto something, emotionally reacting to something,
curiosity, using something, etc.
That is why enlightened masters teach witnessing, meditation,
non-judgmental observance, lovingness, etc.

People at lower energy levels are like out-of-control spinning dolls
that focus on nearly anything and everything that comes to their attention
and so they attract lots of stuff to them without discernment.
Thus they get into lots of mess and unpleasant stuff.

As the energy level of people increases, the energy of people calms down,
intelligence comes through more and there is more ability to discern whether
the presented thing is beneficial or not, and then they (people) naturally either ignore
the presented thing or accept it into their universe (domain, "house").
Osho (an enlightened master) taught "letting go" and meditativeness.
Meditativeness is witnessing, observing, without getting involved.
"Letting go" can also be seen as letting go of all attachments, positionalities,
judgments, attractions to unhealthy things, mind processes, assumptions, expectations,
emotional dramas, etc; all of these are unhealthy ways of focusing/attracting.

Dr. David R. Hawkins (another enlightened master), mentioned that
the Creator plays no favouritism and that Existence is overall just.
Perhaps we can see Existence as a quantum mechanic machine where the
processes are simply mechanistic reflections of one’s will, and the energy dance,
free of judgment and "I will get you." This is called "Karma" by some.
Input in is - eventually - output out.   Thus if you (or someone you know) is going
through a tough time, it is not a case of a victim or a perpetrator, but rather
a participator getting a feedback, shaped by the participator’s inputs/focuses
(possibly over eons of time/incarnations and beyond incarnations).

How to get out of unpleasant situations (feedbacks)?
From our point of view it certainly involves addressing basics
of good health living, as mentioned on this website (the page Good Health Trinity is
a good start).
Also it is good to be aware, that the mind very easily slips into
the victim or perpetrator mode (it can be very subtle).   So if
a thought saying something like "OK, my tough life is my doing,
I’m getting what I deserve" comes, it is good to ignore it.
Your tough life may be your responsibility to a large degree
(note the difference between "fault" and "responsibility"), at
the same time it is the Wholeness of Existence that participates
in it, too, so it is perfectly beneficial to ask/pray to/petition
Gods, the Holy Spirit, angels, and other positive Beings to help
you, to assist, to guide; they have their fingers in your life, too.
Again though - it is vitally important to ignore any and all attempts
of your mind (or any other energies) to make you accept/believe that
it is their fault, because they have their fingers in your life, too.
It is not anyone s fault.   Your life is ultimately a natural, non-judgmental,
non-favouritistic manifestation of the overall energy
dance within Existence, with your will having a major shaping impact.