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If only I had done this, I could have prevented the accident...
If only I had said this, my son would still be alive...
If only I had kept the job, I would be living in a nice house...
Things manifest the way they do because that's how all the involved
energies affect things at that given moment. You cannot sense this
energy dance with your five physical senses, but it goes on all the time
(though you can sense the physical manifestations of the energy dance
with your physical senses).
So at the time your "if only..." occurred, it couldn't have manifested in any
other way, given the state of all the involved energies at that particular
moment. It happened the way it happened because it was the perfect
way of it manifesting.
The point here is that there is no point in playing the "if only..." game.
Yes, it is beneficial to look back and see what could have been improved,
and learn from that. However, it is not beneficial to be hard on your Self,
to blame your Self, or anyone else, for what happened.
Learning from a situation is part of intelligence.
Using a past situation to blame, or to be hard on, your Self or someone
else is a game of the mind/false self or a negative energy that may be
affecting you - a destructive scenario.
Because you consciously don't understand why things happen the way
they do, there is no point in using your mind to decipher them. Your mind
depends on the five senses that cannot venture to the subconscious,
where the energy dance goes on and on. As well, your mind is not capable
of discerning truth from falsehood (that's an expertise of intelligence).
So the "if only..." game is a way the mind, and/or some negative energy,
try to establish a divide, conquer, and rule scenario
Also, some things that happen in your life, even the unpleasant things, had been
planned, agreed to, before you incarnated. It would be foolish to blame your
Self or someone else for something that you arranged for, so you, or the other
person, would come to understand something through experience.
It is through addressing the universal basics of good health and
prayers that you can increase the probability
of a positive,
safe, abundant life, and come to understand why certain things happen,
and protect your Self from negative influences.
The mind/false self likes to play "if..." games projected into the future, as well.
That is another way the mind/false self tries to perpetuate itself.
These games keep you from living in the present moment, keep you from being
aware, and can create anxiety.
It is much more beneficial to ignore these "if..." thoughts, and to keep on living
in the present moment.
Please, remember that the quietness of the mind is dependent on the state of
your health. When your body/energy system are not balanced (healthy), it
also manifests as a busy mind.
Again, it is through addressing the universal basics of good health (as mentioned
above) that you can harmonize your body/energy system.
Also, silent meditations are vital for quieting the mind and
centering (as long as you are congruent with the silent meditations; please, see
that page for more info), along with proper breathing.
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