Loss of a child, sibling, parent, friend, spouse

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The intent here is to present better understanding of life and play of energies
in the "invisible" world.   The loss of a loved one can be very hard to cope with,
though with better understanding of life much of the emotional drama can be
surrendered and replaced by peace, understanding, and compassion.

You cannot cause someone's death or injury; you can contribute to it, but you
cannot cause it.

The death or injury of a loved one was not your fault.   For it to be your fault,
you'd have to be the originator of all of it (the why and how), and that you were not.
If the how of the death/injury (more below) happened via your actions, you may
share responsibility for it and feel karmic consequences of it.

Playing "if only..." games is a waste of time and energy; it brings nothing postive.
Things happened that way because it was the way the dance of energies was, and
under those circumstances it couldn't have been different.   If it could have been,
it would be.   No point in wallowing in the past.   It's better to learn from it and move on.

When a tragic death happens, there are the why and how.   The why is most likely
a consequence of something happening in a previous incarnation (a karmic "debt") or
a consequence of some toxicity.   For example, when a child drowns, it may be
to experience something that the individual did to someone else in a previous
incarnation; not a punishment, but an opportunity to understand how it is to
contribute to someone's death.   At the same time it is synchronized with the karma
of the parents; they too must have a lesson in experiencing an event like that
(just consider that most of the human history is full of wars and violence).   BTW,
I believe it is possible to resolve negative karma without manifesting it as tragic
events - by using neuro-emotional technique (NET), prayers, and positive visualization
(such as seeing yourself dissolve into the highest level of Divine Love/Light and
with it all negative occurrences and stored emotions).   Negative karma is not
a punishment, but a learning tool.   When you come to understand that harming
yourself and others is not beneficial, and align yourself with the Divine, there is no
reason for you to go through violent occurrences.
There is a difference between knowing and understanding.   Many people know that
smoking contributes to cancer, but only the people who don't smoke show they
understand it.
The how of a tragic death.   This is what enables "the why" to manifest.   It can be
the parent's toxicity (from alcohol, smoking, pollution) spacing him/her out so
the parent does something irrational.   Or it can be a negative energy distracting
the parent's awareness long enough for the accident to occur.   Or it can be one
of the positive Selves of the parent bringing it about - what seems like a negative
happening to the mind can be a positive happening (due to the lessons learned)
to the spirit.

There are no punishments (except for the ones created by the society).   If you
lost a loved one, it's not a punishment created by God/Universe/Existence.   It's
an opportunity to come to a certain understanding, to learn a lesson.   This may be
due to working out a karmic "debt" or as a consequence of some toxicity.

Regardless of how the death of the loved one came about, there was no suffering,
unless the departed was a mean person stepping on people and giving God the
finger (so to speak) or a person drowning in negative emotions or a person willingly
abusing his/her life - it's not that God would make the person suffer; it's that when a
person turns away from God, he/she turns away from the source of life and then who
knows what can happen.   When a severe injury occurs, the body goes into a state of
shock, so there is no suffering.   When it is obvious that this is the end of
the life/incarnation, the spirit leaves the body; the body still may shake, move, or
whatever, but the spirit is gone, thus there is no suffering.

The higher levels of spirit (including the soul) know no blaming, finger-pointing,
negative anger*.   If you did something that contributed to your loved one's death,
the soul of your loved one doesn't blame you or have hard feelings.   The soul may
be angry with you if you (for example) got drunk and that contributed to the death,
but this anger would be as a guidance to stop drinking, not as a blame, and
the soul's love for you is not affected.
With the death there comes the dropping of the body-mind, and there comes
the ability of the individual --> the soul to see the larger picture.   The larger picture
shows what lessons needed to be learned during the life on earth, the karmic
consequences, and that all the occurrences during the incarnations served all that.
So why would there be hard feelings against you or someone else?

Doubts, guilt, shame, blame, finger-pointing anger, fear don't come from you.   If you
experience them, they can be seen as psychic/spiritual attacks against you.   They
are not you/yours.   If you accept them into your life, that is if you believe them and
embrace them, they control you and bring your energy down, and can cut you off
from God.   It's the best to ignore them, to pray for protection, and to seek out a doctor
that performs neuro-emotional technique (NET) to resolve them.   There are negative
energies in the "invisible" world that try to bring down and control everyone they can,
and negative emotions like that are some of their ways of achieving that.   Your true
nature is loving, understanding, compassionate, peaceful, regardless of
the circumstances.

Another way of the negative energies to divide, conquer, and rule people is by giving
them subconscious suggestions to drink alcohol and/or do drugs and/or to smoke
to "drown" (alleviate) the grief.   The acceptance of that is a very slippery slope.
Alcohol, drugs (legal and illegal), tobacco are very toxic to the body and the spirit.
Their usage opens the person to more negative affections, more trouble, and can cut
off the person from God, the source of life.

As you may know from this page, each individual that is incarnated on earth (and
not enlightened) has a false and other low-energy selves.   These low-energy selves
like dramas, like diseases, suffering, accidents, emotional hardship.   So yes, if you're
not enlightened, you have these low-energy selves (they don't belong to you, but
they are part of your existence here on earth until you rise your energy level to
dissolve them**).   How much they control your life depends on your state of being -
on your energy level.   The more positive you are, the less control they have.
In each situation you can chose your attitude towards it.   When you maintain
positive intention, positive attitude, you are much less likely to be influenced by
the low-energy selves.   The guiding principle "what would Jesus/Buddha/Osho do
in this situation?" is a valid one.   By engaging this principle you activate positive
energies, positive attractor fields that can guide you.
Some examples:
"During my watch my son drowned; I feel guilt and anger towards myself.
What would Jesus do in this situation?"   (Can you imagine Jesus feeling
guilty or angry with himself?   Of course not.   Surrender it to God and
move on positively.)
"I feel angry with my husband for not keeping an eye on our child
and I can't live with him any longer.   What would Buddha do in this
situation?"   (While anger can be justified, it would be constructive
in the sense of saying "it was foolish to do that" and then dropping it
and moving on peacefully.   Dwelling on anger and not being able to
continue living with her husband indicates some attachment to the
negative emotions, to the drama.   This is not healthy.   An understanding
individual would surrender all that to God and move on, knowing there
must be a reason why things have conspired that way even though
she doesn't consciously know why - "in God we trust".   Imagine what
her husband must go through...her love and compassion for her
husband continue and they pull through this drama peacefully
and stronger than ever.)

The harsher one takes the passing of a loved one, the stronger it is an indicator of not
understanding life and playing emotional dramas.   In that case, imagine how freeing
it must be to learn more about life!   This website is a good start.

The more one tries to cling to the departed loved one, the stronger wall he/she builds
between him/her self and the departed loved one.   Freedom enables stronger connections.
Letting go of the loved one, that is surrendering your connection with him/her to God,
brings stronger love energy flow between him/her and you.

The most positive thing you can do for your departed loved one is to continue living in
a positive, loving, peaceful way, free of doubts, guilt, shame, anger.   Also to improve
your health, such as mentioned on this website (the page Good Health Trinity is a good
start).   Your departed loved one and you will most benefit from your health being at
the highest possible level.

From readings given by genuine mediums it is clear that the departed loved ones
are aware of our progress here on earth.   The feeling of time is not the same on earth as
it is on the other side, so what feels like ages here can feel much shorter there.

Where your loved one went after his/her death? - please read this page.

* Note: it could be said there is a "blaming" anger (negative, destructive) and a "compassionate"
            anger (positive guidance).   A higher level of spirit can feel angry, as a guidance that
            something could be improved.
** Note: the page Good Health Trinity mentions the universal foundation of good health.

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